Why'd You Only Call Me When You're High
by MaddestFilmLitMaid3n
Summary: AU: Set in Season 5 of TVD and Season 1 of the Originals. Three times Caroline called him drunk and the one time he called her.


**A/N: Special shoutout to Yana for being a lovely cheerleader to get me to finish this! Also, you should listen to Why'd You Only Call Me When You're High by Arctic Monkeys and the Miley Cyrus version when reading. It sets the mood. Wink wink. **

Whitmore College was the epitome of her dreams for a new beginning. Far from the cursed hometown of Mystic Falls, its campus was gorgeous, and had a bountiful population of yummy college guys. She could leave all the supernatural craziness behind her and just live a little. A fully stocked mini-fridge of Type O blood, her two best friends and a totes amazing boyfriend practically guaranteed an entirely unforgettable experience.

Whitmore better be prepared for Caroline Forbes.

Elena had left while unpacking to call and check up on Jeremy and the new boyfriend, Damon (Ugh, don't even get her started on _that_ whole situation.) Caroline took her clothing from one of the boxes and transferred them into the bureau, admiring her taste in fashion throughout. As she pulled out an exceptionally cute red blouse, a piece of paper slipped out and fluttered to the ground.

**NEW SCHOOL YEAR, KICK OFF WITH A KEG **The advertisement was simple with bright blue letters sharing the time and place, one of the many frat houses. While normally Caroline would rather steer clear off the testostorone bleeding pigpens, it seemed like something she and Elena should go to. After all, no college experience would be complete without their first college party.

When Elena returned, it took exactly ten minutes of pestering for Caroline to work her persuasive magic and get her to agree to come. _No boyfriend._ She pointed at her best friend in warning. There would be plenty of time for the other Salvatore, but tonight would be girls' night. She begrudgingly agreed, making a face at the victorious dance Caroline did.

By the time they started to prepare for the party, their room had been completely set up. It was one of Caroline's greatest works, if she did say so herself. Martha Stewart would be proud. She couldn't help but mention this to Elena as they primed and prepped. She laughed before tossing a pillow at the blond to remind her that it had been a team effort.

With shining lips and killer heels, the two made their way to the frat house, which was not hard to miss. The music could be heard from a mile away and the smell of mixed colognes and perfumes was pervading the atmosphere.

"Oh my god, no." She laughed and shook her head at the way too confident psych major. He'd been attempting use psychoanalysis as a way into her pants and it took all of her strength not to break out laughing when he told her how people were inherently good, but that didn't mean they couldn't do bad things. This was followed by a wink.

Caroline didn't even bother making a plausible excuse to leave. Something about her friend waiting to take her to the bakery? Honestly, she couldn't even remember it as she walked away. The techno music shook the house and bodies grinded against one another.

"Ew, no." She pushed a sweaty couple away from her, trying not to spill her drink. Where was Moses when you needed him? This was definitely a sea that needed parting.

After a couple of minutes of human and vampire walking, she found herself back at her residence hall. There was some difficulty with the push or pull door before she stood in front of the stairs leading up to the new room. Her eyes widened at the sight. She hadn't realized how many steps there were. Or how steep they had been! There had to be at least a hundred, or so. Ugh, and she was heels!

She sighed and started the arduous journey upward. One foot after the other. There were times she had to steady herself by grabbing onto the wooden railing. When she finally made it to the top, she pumped her fist in victory. Take that, Neil Armstrong!

She could still hear the party as she entered the room. With her gorgeous, but painful shoes discarded to the side, Caroline decided she might need to lie down. All that walking made her feel a bit dizzy.

The soft texture of her Tommy Hilfiger comforters made her smile. She loved her bed. It was so nice, but so small. Tyler wouldn't be able to sleep over in this thing.

Her brow furrowed. Tyler should be here. She shouldn't have to experience this all as an honorary single person, but noooo. He had to deal with werewolves and hybrids (and tigers, _oh my_). That had become one of his favorite pastimes. She couldn't be angry at him about it, but it was a bit frustrating. She didn't like having to vie for his attention along with the mountain wolves.

This wouldn't even be a problem if it weren't for that stupid, arrogant Original. He just had to go and make her boyfriend his guinea pig.

The more Caroline thought about, the angrier she got. Yeah, this was all Klaus' fault. If he wasn't such a big baby and filled with eternal loneliness (or whatever), then everything would be normal. Aunt Jenna wouldn't be dead and neither would Jeremy. Elena probably wouldn't be a vampire and Stefan wouldn't have gone all ripper. In fact, she's pretty sure that without him prom probably would have gone a lot better too!

_That bastard can't just walk around and think that being like that is totally okay_. He needed some counseling, but more importantly someone had to tell him about himself. Since no one else had seemed to have done it, she decided she tell him herself. _Yeah, _she thought to herself, _that's what I'll do_.

It wasn't a heartbeat later that she had whipped out her cell and was flipping through her contacts. She pushed the dial button and pressed the phone angrily to her ear.

The ringing only lasted for three seconds before he answered, "Love?" His voice was a mixture of surprise and interest.

"God, stop calling me that," She groaned. His stupid nicknames set her on edge all the time.

She could practically hear his smirk, "As you wish, Caroline," Oh God, that was worse. Why did it sound like he was singing her name? "What's gone wrong in Mystic Falls that has you phoning me so late?"

"Don't pretend you don't know, Mr. I Steal Candy From Babies Because I Have Nothing Better To Do With My Time," Huh, that sounded wittier in her head. That doesn't matter, though. He got the point.

There was pause on his side. "Would you care to elaborate?"

She let out a dramatic sigh and switched positions on the bed. Her body was sprawled horizontally and her head hung off the edge. "You, like, basically are the cause of every supernatural problem in my life. Did you know that? Was this your plan, to conspire against me? Why, Klaus? Why? Wait, is that seriously your name?" Her eyebrows furrowed in confusion. She'd wondered about the before. Was Klaus even a name back in 600 AD? Shouldn't he be called Thor or something?

"My full name is Niklaus, but I'm more commonly known as Klaus." He answered slowly.

She made a face, "Why would you call yourself Klaus? It sounds like the name of a German Nazi. Oh. My. God. You know what, I bet you were a Nazi because you're a million years old and clearly evil." Her eyes widened at the realization. She covered her mouth as she whispered into the phone. "Were you a Nazi? Be honest." Oh my God, he probably was. It would make sense. She felt like gagging at the thought of him being friends with Hitler.

She heard the sound of his muffled laughter, "No, I was not. I was on the Allies' side. It was quite a memorable time. I could tell you about sometime if you would like."

It didn't matter what he said. He was sneaky, snake-y creature. How could she trust him? Should she call the United Nations and tell them she found an ex-Nazi? "No, listen to me, I do not associate with Nazis. The imprisonment and death of millions of innocent people isn't something I can overlook-"

He interrupted her with in a soft voice, "Caroline, have you been drinking?"

She hesitated, considering the situation. It seemed as if he didn't understand the point of this conversation, which was most definitely not about whether she consumed alcohol. "That is irrelevantante," Maybe she should have said that last bit in English because she's pretty sure he didn't know Spanish.

"Well, as much as I would love to talk, I think it's best if you go to bed," He listened closer and could hear the faint booming of music. "Don't you agree?"

Sleep? Oh, that sounded heavenly. Caroline shifted her position once again and laid her head against the pillow. "I really don't think you have any authority to tell me what I should do. I'm not one of your hybrids, Niklaus," She dragged out his name until it turned into a yawn. "However, I've decided that I am going to go to bed, but because I want to. Not because you told me to."

"Of course, love," He chuckled, imagining her buried underneath the blankets like a child. "It was lovely chatting. Sweet dreams."

Her eyes fluttered close, but not before she answered, "Don't call me tha-"

It's 10:07 AM when she wakes up the next day with a horrible headache. Elena had already left for one of her classes. She still wore her clothes from yesterday, but her heels are stuck in the wall. Did she do that?

Caroline shook her head and stumbled into the bathroom, ready to wash the after-effects of the party off of her. The warm water helped bringing her slowly back to reality and memories of the night replayed in her head. She rolled her eyes as she remembered Derek the Psychiatrist, feeling no regret of bolting out of that awkward situation.

Following her morning routine, she pulled on a sweater and dragged out her heavy, new textbooks. Studying was a good way to kill the buzz as well as keep her ahead in her classes. Ten minutes into the reading, though, she froze completely. A feeling of unfiltered embarrassment washed over her as one particular memory came back to the forefront.

No. No. No. Nope. No. She didn't. This was just some horrible dream because there is no way in hell that she called _him_.

Jumping off her bed, she searched throughout the room for the one thing that could deny her sick suspicions. It was hidden under the bed with only 15% of battery left.

The screen showed three messages. One from Elena and two from—oh, no—

Klaus.

**Try to lay off the alcohol, sweetheart. ;)**

** I'd prefer our next conversation to be between two sober non-Nazis. **

The sound she made was not human and resulted in more than three other dorm members knocking on the door to check that she hadn't died.

_**Why'd you only call me when you're high? High…**_

_** Why'd you only call me when you're high?**_

It was four months after the incident. Four months and she hadn't told one person, not even Elena. To be fair, she couldn't. As much as she loved her best friend, she wasn't willing to sit through the understanding, slightly pitying look she would receive. That was not what she needed.

What Caroline needed was to avoid getting plastered, which had been a difficult but manageable task. She became the designated driver. The role was as boring as it sounded and parties weren't as exciting when one wasn't donning beer goggles.

It had all been smooth sailing. That is, until Tyler and her broke up. While Caroline wasn't new to heartbreak, she still wasn't accustomed to the sadness and pain that accompanied it. Especially with him. She was so sure that he was the one, the one she would spend her immortal existence with and all that jazz. So, she was forced to deal with the break up and the completely plausible possibility of being literally forever alone.

It was two in the morning on a Thursday and she was walking the campus grounds with a bottle of vodka. (The taste was strong and bitter, but the effects were even stronger.) It was half-empty when she finally fell down onto a bench.

The silence bothered her, reminded her too much of the silence Tyler had answered her demand with. She wanted to cry, to scream, to break something, but most of all, she just really needed to talk.

She barely registered what she was doing as she sloppily punched the numbers into her phone.

He answered immediately as always, "Good evening, Caroline,"

She closed her eyes and told him flatly, "Tyler and I broke up."

His initial reaction was silent, but she would bet that he was smiling like a fool. He would probably rub it in her face like salt in a wound. "I'm sorry,"

No, she didn't like that, the pity in his voice. In fact, what was worse was how sincere he sounded.

"I guess it was just meant to be, you know?" She continued like she hadn't heard him. The bottle felt heavy in her hand and the spring air felt cold. "I mean, how could a relationship like ours even last if he would rather spend time with his friends than me? Fuck, he would rather go chasing you around than love me." Her voice cracked at the final sentence.

Klaus didn't reply, but she could hear his breathing through the static of the call.

"God, I don't even know why I'm surprised anymore. There's this track record I have with guys, right. Matt, Damon, Tyler. Maybe I should become a nun." She shuddered at the idea. "On second thought, I'll just adopt their celibate ways."

"He's an idiot to have left you, love." He spoke quietly, but surely.

She laughed without humor, "Are you sure? Because I'm the one feeling pretty stupid at the moment." The vodka burned her throat as she took another swig. "I wasted so much time waiting and waiting for nothing. All that hope built up for nothing."

"There's nothing wasted in hope."

"Well, that's rich." She shook her head, letting her hair fall in front of her face. "Don't your past times involve dashing hopes?"

"Only on the weekdays."

"Right. I almost forgot that there's more to evil than just laughing maniacally." She focused her gaze on a loose string at the end of her shirt.

He ignored the jibe, "Are you okay?"

The question surprised her. It wasn't the first time she had heard it in the past week, but this was different. For whatever reason, there wasn't some part of her trying to downplay the hurt and be Miss Invincible with him. Nothing held her back from her answering him honestly. "No, I'm not." She realized there was a certain freedom in admitting that to someone.

"I wish I could ameliorate the pain you're feeling, but I'm afraid only time will do that."

"Well, I have plenty of that."

"Take advantage of that." He offered, "Now, you can live freely without some temporary bond keeping you tethered to a small town."

At his words, her anger flared. "Tyler wasn't just some fling. He was the love of my life and now I lost him." Her hand shook, moving the phone with it. "This-none of this- would have happened if _you_ hadn't turned him. If you hadn't completely ruined his life. His mom's death, us…it could have been avoided!" Her breathing picked up as her chest moved up and down rapidly. "Why-Why do you have to be such a horrible person, Klaus?"

Now it was his turn to yell, to tell her that she was a stupid, vain girl and it was no wonder her boyfriend left. Here was his chance to just let her have it. She'd prodded the beast, it just needed to wake up. He could throw names, threaten her, distract her from the reality for just a minute. "If I'm such a monster, Caroline, why did you call?" There was no anger in the question, just that same, unaltered curiousity.

She inhaled sharply at his question. It was too forward and too unexpected, hitting her like a dart. This wasn't how it was supposed to go, but his response raised a fair point. For all her raging against him, she still called him when her inhibitions were lowered. "I don't know."

She ended the call and let the phone hit the grass. The campus was quiet except for the group of frat boys a mile off, bringing another keg of beer to one of the parties. The stars were glaringly bright against the dark night sky, painting her surroundings in light. As she sat there with his and Tyler's words ringing in her ears, the reality of the situation came over her like morning light on the campus.

Suddenly, she couldn't breath. Her lungs constricted and that blood-pumping organ felt like it was dragging lower and lower to the ground. As a choking sob escaped her lipstick-smeared mouth, her eyelashes slammed shut and pressed tightly to her skin. A moment later one of her hands covered her lips. She bite her tongue to hold in a scream she'd been holding for months.

It wasn't fair. None of this was fair.

_**Gets harder and harder to get you to listen 'more I get through the gears **_

_**Incapable of making alright decisions and having bad ideas**_

Elena found her the next morning before the first round of classes started. She didn't ask and Caroline didn't share. The vodka bottle was in the recycle bin and her phone was shoved into her pocket with a clear, emptied history.

_** Why'd you only call me when you're high? High…**_

_** Why'd you only call me when you're high?**_

It was a month later that Caroline saw him in person. (Not Tyler, he was still MIA since their break-up. Presumably, he was in New Orleans, but she wasn't going to ask.) He showed up during a search and rescue mission for Matt.

She's not sure how any of it happened. It had started out like it always does. He was being charming and she was having none of it. Although, she did appreciate him having enough decency not to bring up any of their—erm—conversations. She'd planned to keep it at subtly hostile politeness, but, before she knew what was happening, he had given up a 500 year old grudge for her and promised to never return in exchange for honesty all in the same breath.

It didn't feel real, none of it did. The promise, the fact that he was actually back in that cursed town he despised, the big gestures. Maybe that's why she finally let go.

They were alone in the woods and away from her friends' unabashed judgements. The entire situation felt dream-like and she was barely sure if he was even really there. Whatever the reason, she kissed him. It wasn't supposed to go so far, but she was drowning in the moment like a swimmer caught in a storm. One kiss was like nicotine and she needed a fix.

Months of tension and fighting and anger lead to this, a torrid affair in the woods. She was okay with that. Her conscience wasn't full on board with it, yet she could deal with that later. It was her little secret.

It would have been a moment of weakness kept all to herself until she blurted out the details at the wrong place at the wrong time within earshot of the completely wrong person.

There was a lot of shouting and some furniture was broken. Stefan interrupted them before anything escalated further. Tyler's eyes flashed a familiar gold in a completely changed expression before he spat out, "You know he fucked Hayley, right? Screwed her and knocked her up?" He grinned like a maniac at her confused expression. "Looks like your new boyfriend is going to be a daddy."

Stefan knocked him out.

_**Somewhere darker, talking the same shite **_

_**I need a partner. Well, are you out tonight?**_

Bitter ball had seemed like an excellent idea a few hours before. A clean break is how she sold it to Elena and Bonnie. She wanted to gag at the pity she saw reflected in both their gazes, but used it to her advantage. A true manipulator always uses whatever sympathies they can to get what they want.

Yet, instead of celebrating her supposed singleness and bitterness, she found herself in a situation she hoped not to return to again. (Because drunk habits like these are not cute. But seriously, she needed to go to AA or something.)

Was that nervousness that made her stomach do flips as the ringing filled her ears? Or maybe it was the alcohol? She thought to herself that maybe being high would have soothed her emotions.

He picked up. "Caroline," The greeting was filled with genuine happiness. "To what do I owe this pleasure?"

"I didn't want to call," She admits, feeling the awkward despite the exorbent amounts of liquor in her system.

"Oh, is that so," His tone shifted into something detatched as if bracing for her to ask for some favor. She couldn't blame him. She did have a track record.

"Tyler came back." She offered lamely.

"Ah," He realeased a breath, "Was he polite?"

Something about the King of Murder asking her if her ex had been polite made her break into a giggle. It lasted for only a few seconds, but lifted her spirits momentarily. "He was fine, as nice as an ex can be." The lie was smooth and undetectable.

"I'm glad. I understand it's difficult to remain civil after a relationship ends and I'd hate for Tyler to prove to be less than that."

"Well, don't worry. It's all good." She told him in an ultra peppy voice, reminding her of Old Caroline at cheer practice. "I was wondering if I could ask you something and," Her teeth dug into her bottom lip, tearing her skin. "I'd love it if you were totally honest, Klaus."

His answer was instanteous and assuaged, for a moment, her fears. He wouldn't be so willing if he had some secret. "Of course. What's wrong?"

"Is Hayley pregnant?" The question left her mouth in a flurry and now she wanted to take it back, swallow it and keep it from ever escaping her lips.

For a moment, silence is between in them. Her heartbeat starts to speed up. "Why are you asking about Hayley?"

No, no. Something heavy was settling in the pit of her stomach and she hated the feeling. "Klaus, just answer the question. Is she or isn't she?"

"Caroline, did Tyler—"

"Just answer to goddamn question, Klaus!" She shouted into the phone. She closed her eyes, taking a breath to calm herself. When she repeated the question, it was calmer and sounded too much like a plea, begging for the negative. "Is she-?" She couldn't bring herself to say the word again.

"Yes."

Sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never hurt me. Whoever said that was clearly a liar or delusional or else how was it that one little word could make her feel so sick? Her fingers dug into her leg, ripping the jean's fabric. The heavy feeling on her heart spread all throughout her body. She was torn between wanting to scream and wanting to throw up.

He tried to fill the silence with a rushed line of words, "Love, it's not like it seems at all. It was simply a one time affair and it somehow turned into—"

She shook her head sharply from side to side like a child. "Stop." The command was feeble.

"No, you have to understand." It was strange to hear him so panicked. Well, as panicked as he could probably get. He spoke with the same neutral tone, but his voice shook at the end of every sentence. "She was, she is, nothing. The child—"

"**Stop it."** When she repeated it, it wasn't so quiet anymore, but he stopped talking. "I don't want to know. I don't. I really have no fucking interest in knowing about you and your love life."

"Caroline," He didn't say anything else, only her name. It was soft, pleading

and reminded her of the smile he gave her after his time with Silas.

"It doesn't matter, right?" She closed her eyes, slamming them shut as if that would make everything freeze. "You don't owe me anything. It's not like," _We're together or something like that._ She didn't say that aloud because then she would have to admit that she had actually hoped for it.

"Please, don't. Give me a moment to explain."

"Save it for Hayley," She responded cuttingly, ignoring the crack in her voice. "Goodbye, Klaus."

Even though the call ended and she couldn't hear him anymore, Caroline still felt wrecked. It's not my business. It's not my business. The phrase repeated over and over again in her head. Her hands shook and she barely managed to put her phone in her purse.

It wasn't until she made it outside the party that she realized she was crying.

_**Now it's three in the morning, And I'm trying to change your mind, **_

_**Left you multiple missed calls, And to my message you reply**_

_**Why'd you only call me when you're high?**_

It didn't take long for her to recover. (At least, that's what she told her friends who invariably found about her hook up and subsequent "falling out" with Klaus.) Caroline was, if anything, a resilient girl. Heartbreak wasn't new to her and she didn't plan on letting it affect the rest of her freshman year.

She dedicated her time to her original plan: dominate Whitmore as a college student. It proved to be easier than she had hoped. If you could name a club, she was the head. Her involvement in community service activities was said to be on the track for breaking the school record. Everyone started to be familiar with the name Forbes.

The busy schedule remind her very much of high school, but the initial fulfillment faded quickly. There didn't prove to be any fun in doing the same things in a different setting. She loved the classes, but she couldn't find anything she truly enjoyed outside of it. Had she approached her circumstances with a bit of honesty, she would have admitted that she was looking for more.

The schedule took her through the school year until there were only a few months left. She was planning to convince Bonnie and Elena to take a trip to Spain over the summer because hello? Beaches and hot guys were ingredients for a perfect vacation. It was taking some time, but victory was on the horizon. She could sense it.

Late one night, following a day of class, Caroline was wrapped in a blanket on her bed. Her eyes were glued to the monitor of her laptop as she caught up on an episode of Pretty Little Liars when her phone rang.

She paused the scene with extra force and looked down at the intruding object.

The irriation fled and another, similar emotion came in its place as she took in the caller ID.

Klaus.

She deleted his number after that night, but it didn't take any hesitation to realize it was him. The digits were burned into her mind, no time could change that. The comfy atmosphere of the room had turned freezing like winter all over again as the music played almost ominously from the device.

It was clear that she couldn't answer. Like, what would that say about her? They had their big explosive end, albeit it was a phone call, and that was that. Any hopes for a relationship that she had crashed down with reality. (Hey! It was okay to fantasize. It's not as if dreaming of taking a world trip with him was the same as actually going on the plane to Tokyo alongside him.)

To talk to him after that horrible discovery would be just a torturous experience. She didn't want to know anything about New Orleans, not anymore. She had no interest in hearing about the him and his royal wereslut and their miracle baby.

She shouldn't answer. Definitely not.

The ringing continued.

Or, another part of her suggested, this could some form of closure. It could be a great way to make sure she's over it all, that really had moved on. There's nothing wrong with a little exercise in self-restraint. Plus, she's almost finished a year of college. With all these new adult experiences, she's matured and can handle the situation gracefully.

"What do you want?" Caroline snapped into the speaker.

"Good evening, sweet Caroline," His voice murmured. "How's university life been? Riveting, I hope."

Her eyebrows raised in confusion. Was he serious? "It's been great actually. I've learned a lot, meet a lot of great people. A lot of great guys too like Chris, Tom, Brad," Okay, that sounded far from casual. She bit her cheek as she ruminated over why the fake names were just a list of Hollywood actors.

"Tom?" That piqued his interest. "Who is this Tom fellow? No doubt simply some footballer I imagine."

Her eyes shifted to her door as she strained to hear whether Elena was on her way up or not. "He's actually a sweetheart, but we're not going to talk about him. Why are you calling me, Klaus? I think it was pretty obvious from the last conversation that you were supposed to forget my number."

"A sweetheart?" He mumbled something incoherently on the other line before clearing his throat. "I merely missed our late night conversations. They were quite memorable don't you think?"

"Okay, first of all, those weren't conversations. They were drunk dials, not some cutesy-" She stopped herself, collecting her thoughts. Rambling about specificities weren't important. "Don't you have some kid to raise?"

The answering silence was what she expected, but it didn't do anything for the sting of reality.

"Look, don't call me again—"

"There is no child." The belated answer was flat. All airs of charm had been dropped.

She didn't pay his tone any mind. "Oh so it's like that Twilight thing? Aging super rapidly and all that."

"No." He drew the word out, "When I say there is no child, I mean that there was never a baby. She was never pregnant."

She bit her check at the shot of relief that went up her spin. Confusion followed immediately and her brow furrowed. "Then why did you say that she was?"

"Apparently, the witches of New Orleans have become quite the illusionists." The empty laugh that followed the statement made her sit up straight.

While there was definitely a part of her that was ready to throw a parade, she finally took note of the strange sound in his voice. The only other time she had heard anything like it before was in Elena's house when he had bit her. She swallowed the overjoyed feelings and opened her mouth, but couldn't think of anything to say. It felt as if she couldn't string the right words together. All the anger and hurt she had bottled inside dissapitated like steam. "I'm sorry."

"Are you really, Caroline?" He feigned shock, "I can't tell. It seems that it would be a better assumption to say that you and your Mystic crew would be jumping with glee. I'm sure it would be a great tale for a dinner party, all about the monster that was tricked into thinking he could have a family."

Even in his destitution, he pushed all the wrong buttons. "I'm not lying. God, no one deserves that, not even you." She heard him take a swig of something.

"Oh, not even me? How gracious you are, darling. It took two years, but it seems I can finally see some sympathy in you yet."

She made an incredulous noise, "You know what, fuck you. You terrorized my friends and I. People I knew and cared about got their lives screwed up because of you. So, yeah. I am a hell of a lot of gracious and you should appreciate it. And, you know, what? Biting the hand that feeds seems a bit stupid since it's not like there's an endless line of people who are going to sympathize with you."

"Ah, of course. It was silly of me to forget my role as the big bad wolf." The connection was staticky for a moment before he continued. "Tell me, little red, if I am so unredeemable why even bother? You never did give me a proper answer."

Her fists were held at her side, the French nails digging into her palms. "I. Don't. Know." She said through clenched teeth.

"I find that hard to believe, love," He enunciated the term of endearment until it was drenched in sarcasm. "You've always boasted over an enviable intelligence."

"Well, I clearly have more than you. It's not as if I were the one who walked around for nine months thinking he was going to be a daddy." She didn't care if she was getting mean. "You know, maybe it was good thing it was all a lie. I hardly saw you as the poster child for Parent of the Year."

"Always quick with your insults. Perhaps, if you spend half the time on algebra that you spent on your remarks, you'd be able to pass with more than a C+."

"Ugh, you stalker!" She screeched into the phone. That was one semester!

He ignored her outburst. "Come on. Spend a little time being honest with yourself. Why did you even bother?"

"Because I liked you." She blurted out. Her eyes widened, but her mouth was running a mile a minute. "I thought that if we hooked up, that would be it and I could just get you out of my head. But no. It screwed everything up."

She tried not to think too much about the silence on his end. She'd already started, so she might as well finish.

"I mean, do you understand what you've done? I had plans, really good ones too. College, Career, Boyfriend, Marriage, Travel, Immortality. I was going to live my life completely separate from _you_.

"None of that matters, though, because ever since that night in the woods, I've been questioning everything. All those bad things you do mean you should be evil incarnate, like devil horns evil. Instead there's you with your dimples and great hair. On top of that, every freakin time we talk, you're sweet, funny and just ugh. So, thanks to your completely paradoxical self, I'm left over here dealing with the emotional distress of a guiltless sinner."

"You like me?" He asked in bewilderment.

She threw her hands in the air before responding, "That's all you got from that? Did you, like, miss my description of my constant inner turmoil?"

"Oh, I heard it all, love." That bastard. She could almost hear that stupid smirk grow on his lips. "Although, remind me, what was it you said about the hair?"

She didn't respond. No, she wasn't going to go there. Despite herself, a small smile tugged on her lips.

"I will admit that this wasn't the direction I had expected the conversation to take."

"You and me both," Could a conversation with an Original feel this socially awkward? "You know I actually think I should get going."

"In case you were ever wondering, love, the trip to New Orleans is still on the table." He interjected quickly and hopefully.

She made a disagreeing noise, "How about Paris?"

**A/N: Well, I hope y'all enjoyed! I had fun with this one. Sorry for the angst! Review and, if you would like, follow me on tumblr at hotbloodedhunter**


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